The General Conference promises your guardian angel will watch this film with you

https://youtu.be/s_NmeOPoBeI SILVER SPRING, Md. — For the first time in Seventh-day Adventist history, General Conference leaders have promised church members that their guardian angels will Read more […]

Self-professed Ellen White expert rummaging through red books looking for Bible

BATTLE CREEK, Mich. —  Self-styled Adventist heritage guru and enthusiastically amateur Ellen White writings compiler, Lester Lite, expressed mild consternation at not being able to find Read more […]

Union College historian claims Ellen White was directionally challenged

LINCOLN, Neb — Controversy erupted today after Union College Professor of History R.J. Leemin alleged that Ellen White, the co-founder of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, was “directionally-challenged.” Leemin Read more […]

Trump to Adventists: “Steps to Christ” is my third favorite book

WEST DES MOINES, Iowa — In a mad scramble for votes, presidential candidates are courting crowds of every Christian denomination in order to woo their members. GOP national front runner Donald Read more […]

Adventist leaders pray for new prophet in 2016 — a male one

SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference leaders are ushering in 2016 with a season of prayer and fasting for a new Adventist prophet in 2016. This time around, however, leaders are specifically Read more […]

Ellen White action figure shoots to top of Adventist Christmas gift lists

Excited Adventists everywhere are ripping open carefully wrapped Christmas presents and according to real-time data available from the General Conference Department of Questionable Expenditure, Read more […]

“The Great Controversy” retitled “Star Wars” by Adventist Church

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a hasty rebranding move, Adventist church leaders have retitled Ellen White’s The Great Controversy as Star Wars. General Conference public relations director, Spihn Read more […]

Jennifer Lawrence to play Ellen White in GC-funded movie

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — A full-length drama about the life and work of Ellen G. White, the female co-founder of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is in pre-production and Jennifer Lawrence has been Read more […]