WATFORD, England — Stanborough Seventh-day Adventist Church Board member, Max Forvirring, has spent the last year or so, stunning his fellow church members with his truly miraculous ability Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an emergency announcement, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) is warning the nation of impending disaster after “dangerously high judginess levels” were detected Read more […]
BORING, N.D. — After losing a close re-election bid for his position as conference executive secretary, Zac Cloth has spent the last several months mourning his new role as a local church pastor. For Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — For the first time in Adventist history, churches will feature official seating charts. Each member will have an assigned seat and visitors will be seated at the very front Read more […]
Hi BarelyAdventist Readers, BarelyAdventist usually sticks to satire and humor in these posts but both have been dispensed with this time. Again: THIS IS NOT SATIRE. Some of you probably Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A team of US congressional aides have been assigned the task of studying all levels of Adventist governance. The goal is to discover ways to help lawmakers in Congress Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Disruptive flatulence in Adventist churches may soon be a thing of the past. The General Conference headquarters of the church has contracted with an innovative pew cushion Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Worker productivity levels have sunk to historic lows at the General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church as candidates for the newly-minted Executive Servant Read more […]
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