New slogan for Newbold College: ‘We’re Still Open’

BRACKNELL, England — In an effort to boost enrollment for the coming academic year, Newbold College has settled on a new marketing slogan: “We’re Still Open.” The only Adventist institution Read more […]

Georgia Cumberland Academy debuts gentle tasers for bad students

CALHOUN, Ga. — Staff at Georgia Cumberland Academy (GCA) have tested a stunningly effective disciplinary tool. “Gentle Tasers” provide what GCA administration described as “a cautionary jolt” Read more […]

Southwestern to accept only registered Republicans as students

KEANE, Texas — The Office of Admissions at Southwestern Adventist University has announced that new students for the 2014-2015 academic year will be required to register with the Republican Read more […]

Findings reveal most Pacific Union College faculty work part-time in wine industry

ANGWIN, Calif. — In response to rising complaints from faculty about remuneration, Pacific Union College has contracted with a third party to interview faculty about their salary expectations. Read more […]

Loma Linda grad suing medical school because he’s not rich yet

He can’t even… LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Andrew Baxter, MD has filed a $750,000 law suit against Loma Linda University School of Medicine.  “Contrary to my expectations, I am still not rich Read more […]

La Sierra voted #1 party school in the United States

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — For the first time in history, an Adventist institution has been nationally recognized as a top party school.  The magazine Rolling Stone has released its annual list Read more […]

Majority of members claim Adventism is too expensive

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to an international survey of 10,000 Adventists conducted by the Andrews University Center for Statistical Analysis, 76% of Seventh-day Adventists feel Read more […]

Walla Walla University to offer arranged marriages to all single students

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — “After years of intense competition, Walla Walla has dealt Southern a death blow,” read an internal Walla Walla University administration memo that was leaked this morning. For Read more […]

Southern to be renamed Little Debbie University

Collegedale, Tenn. – Ever the innovators in Adventist education, Southern Adventist University administrators have agreed to a complete re-branding of the institution.  Effective immediately, Read more […]