Berrien Springs, Mich. — Andrews University seminarian, Kazo Nova walked campus in a daze today after his latest romantic advances were rejected by an undergrad who said she preferred him as a Christian brother.
As Nova stumbled around campus he alternated between singing Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off and quoting scripture about the need to shake dust off one’s feet after rejection.
As he contemplated the discouraging lack of eligible single females in the seminary and his own lack of eligibility in the eyes of the undergraduate population, Nova purposed in his heart to physically dust off his shoes.
Every minute or so he attempted little jumps, smacking his shoes together mid-air and then descending in a cloud of dust.
Miraculously, Nova’s eccentric behavior did attract a female undergraduate nursing major who quickly walked over to him.
The nursing major explained that she was a Campus Security officer and asked him to continue his journey in a way that scared less pedestrians.