Berrien Springs, Mich. — Andrews University seminarian, Kazo Nova walked campus in a daze today after his latest romantic advances were rejected by an undergrad who said she preferred him as a Christian brother.
As Nova stumbled around campus he alternated between singing Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off and quoting scripture about the need to shake dust off one’s feet after rejection.
As he contemplated the discouraging lack of eligible single females in the seminary and his own lack of eligibility in the eyes of the undergraduate population, Nova purposed in his heart to physically dust off his shoes.
Every minute or so he attempted little jumps, smacking his shoes together mid-air and then descending in a cloud of dust.
Miraculously, Nova’s eccentric behavior did attract a female undergraduate nursing major who quickly walked over to him.
The nursing major explained that she was a Campus Security officer and asked him to continue his journey in a way that scared less pedestrians.
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Another silly, phony report. But at least this is not as misleading as those about the Pope, George Lucas, and Chuck Norris etc.
LOL. No peach, no preach, and nothing like the Vegecops. A seminarian, a frequent visitor to the snack bar, where I worked, told me once that a class should be offered called “Theology of Nursing” that would be mandatory for nursing and seminary students with similar goals to match.com.
This is actually truth: that the pretty co-eds view the Seminarians as boring and ugly. The co-eds prefer the rich-to-be gentlemen in the Business Dept. Money talks!
Even an ugly man is handsome if he’s rich. And even handsome seminarians are “boring” because they obviously will be poor all their life. Money, security, and status: that’s all women care about.
Bunch of the stuff they spread around down on the lower farm. Most women I know appreciate guys with a sense of humor. Most seminarians I know don’t have one – those who do find women quite readily.
Yeah, and even virtually dead men have a “great sense of humor” if they are rich. In fact, the closer they are to death, they better their “sense of humor” is, as long as they have a million-dollar life insurance policy with the woman listed as the beneficiary.
As the old Yiddish saying goes, “When I have lots of money, I am handsome, I am smart, I am witty and funny, and I can even sing.” Another old saying goes: “Women just want romance.” What that means is: “women want money.” Gold-diggers. . . .
There is a lack of female seminary students, due to President Wilson’s “women’s ordination ban.” Reminds me of Pres. Trump’s travel ban.
What really happened to Morris? http://tinyurl.com/MorrisV-part1
His ghostwriter and a “counselee” outed him. He denied it and blamed the victim, calling her “schitzo” and “drunk.” http://tinyurl.com/MorrisV-part2
These gold-digging Andrews co-eds should marry someone like Jim Bakker or Jimmy Swaggart, who proved that men can be Preachers and RICH at the same time. And Tammy Fae didn’t care that Jim was short and ugly, because he knew how to bring home the bacon.
Required inter-departmental courses next year will be: “Theology of Piano,” “Theology of Singing,” “Theology of Nursing,” “Theology of Physical Therapy,” “Theology of Office Administration,” and “Theology of Home Economics.” Even if women-folk ain’t worthy of preaching, they’ll still get a chance to meet the cream of the crop / Andrews’ Best (Seminary students).
Is home economics still a major?
It should be clarified here that this is not the anticipated Great Shaking that is yet to come.
If this WO @ other like this comes up next GC , I will shake off the theological dust and go back to my Little Debbie’s…