Findings reveal most Pacific Union College faculty work part-time in wine industry


ANGWIN, Calif. — In response to rising complaints from faculty about remuneration, Pacific Union College has contracted with a third party to interview faculty about their salary expectations. An unexpected outcome of the interviews has been the revelation that virtually all full-time faculty members at PUC work part-time in the Napa wine industry to supplement their meager pay.

“It’s obviously not an ideal situation,” admitted a tenured history professor who preferred to remain nameless. “But given the huge cost of living in the Napa area, my colleagues and I can see no alternative to working in wine.”

“The ironic thing is that we work alongside many of our students,” said Spanish instructor Maria Rosarito. “One job got really awkward when I realized that my supervisor was one of my students.”

Almost to a person, faculty denied that their choice of supplemental revenue had anything to do with the free wine tastings.

PUC administration has reacted to the interview findings, admitting that there “might be a slight conflict of interest” in the wine-related employment of its faculty given the Adventist stance on alcohol avoidance. However, no policy changes are anticipated as half of the administration also has confessed to being on the wine industry payroll.


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  1. If they do give the faculty any lip service it’s gonna be pretty awkward when they learn some of the land PUC owns is actually a vineyard (about 6.5 acres) and is leased to Beringer, a well known grower/winery which in turn means the College itself gets some of it’s revenue (even if some may claim, indirectly) from wine production and sales.

    I’ll bet “no policy changes are anticipated.” That sounds like the most brilliant idea I’ve heard in a long time.

  2. A. Nonymous

    The funniest part was the “ALMOST to a person”, i.e. a few people ARE doing it for the free wine tastings. And of course some goofus will read this and say, “OH MY GOODNESS! The faculty at PUC are all wine-bibbing Satanists! I must post this as FACTUAL INFORMATION on my Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter accounts AT ONCE!” #checkyoursources

  3. Ray Kraft

    Why doesn’t PUC do the obvious thing? – open up its own degree programs in viticulture (winegrowing) and enology? (winemaking).

    A good college-owned winery might make enough money to pay for the school, and it could become tuition-free for students, at least those who work part time in the winery, and maybe they could double the pastors’ and professors’ salaries!

    Pacific Union Cellars!

    Really put PUC on the Napa Valley map!

  4. Kenny Z.

    Isn’t wine OK if the brand you buy is labeled “all natural” and “vegetarian”? (For the really conservative folks, it has to be labeled “vegan” and “non-GMO.”)

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