Adventists Warned Living Room Zumba Still Dancing

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The growing numbers of home-confined Adventists doing workouts in their living rooms these days has triggered a response from the General Conference.

The Adventist headquarters warned members in a special memo today that “just because you are doing zumba in your living room doesn’t meant it isn’t dancing.”

Adventists have been told to avoid zumba or any other form of dance aerobics “or better yet, any form of exercise set to music that has a beat or is, in any other way, fun to listen to.”

In lieu of such exercise, the GC has suggested Adventists work on their Pathfinder marching skills.

“Done right, fancy drill marching can help you work up quite a sweat,” said the GC memo, “especially when performed correctly, in full-dress uniform.”


SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

(Visited 351 times, 1 visits today)

One comment

  1. Richard Mills

    Who remembers those Saturday night socials where we would “march” around the gym to the music of Kenny Griffin, Bing Crosby, John Souza, etc. Really, it was square dancing in slow motion!! I ought to know. I did both. Maybe we should bring the Marches back!! MAGA-Make Adventism Great Again

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *