Adventists: Ben Carson punished for eating ham by losing tooth

Ben Carson speaks with front tooth missing at Tommy's Country Ham House in Greenville, S.C.
Ben Carson speaks with front tooth missing at Tommy’s Country Ham House in Greenville, S.C.

BREAKING NEWS


GREENVILLE, S.C. — Adventists around the United States are pointing to an incident today involving Adventist presidential candidate Ben Carson as a reason not to eat ham. The former neurosurgeon was campaigning in Greenville, S.C. today and, while eating a meal of ham biscuits, scrambled eggs and grits, his front tooth dropped onto the plate. Carson scooped up the tooth and popped it into shirt pocket. He went on to deliver his speech while sporting a radically-altered look. “I’m proud of Dr. Carson for being brave enough to make a speech with a front tooth missing,” said Adventist Greenville native, Bubba Gunnings. “But he wouldn’t have lost the tooth if he’d been a good Adventist and laid off the ham.”

Ben Carson eating at Tommy's before his speech
Ben Carson eating at Tommy’s before his speech


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8 Comments

  1. Do you believe everything you read on TMZ? And even TMZ did not say Dr. Carson ate ham. It said he ate “ham biscuits.” There’s a big difference. Those biscuits are enough to break any doctor’s teeth (or even a dentist’s teeth, for that matter).

    As for the claim that Dr. Carson ate ham, “please note that this story, like others on this site, is a joke. All incidents in this ‘report’ are fictitious or parodied. Any resemblance to real events, past or future, is purely coincidental and/or is solely for purposes of parody, satire, irony, caricature, or comedy. If you do not find these stories funny, please see your doctor to check your sense of humor (or maybe he should check your pulse). After all, laughter is the best medicine.”

  2. Terry Whitted

    There’s no evidence on the news that Dr. Ben actually ate any ham. I realize this is humor …. but just wanted to set the record straight. Now …. on with your good humor.

  3. Richard Mills

    Carson better lay off them eggs & grits. Too much stuff goes into the arteries of yer heart. Carson was really eating that WHAM stuff. Made to look like bacon. Woe is me!!

  4. Robert Higby

    Who cares? On a scale of one to 100 of imporance, this incident is a -2000! I, for one, do not care to investigate how much ‘real ham’ he ate in the biscuit. Right now I’m a dedicated supporter of Rand Paul’s candidacy but I certainly like Ben and would support him in an instance if he prevails over Rand in the Republican race. Give me a reason why I should care about this stupid and irrelevant event!

    1. Marshall Petit

      Because not only do SDA’s condone abstinence from pork, shellfish, and other foods listed as “unclean” in Leviticus, they proudly follow the WHOLE Bible – not just the convenient parts! I fear you will be waiting a long time for Rand Paul to be President.

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