LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A life-long Adventist vegan was rushed to Loma Linda Medical Center after what emergency personnel termed a “carrot overdose.”
While lapsing in and out of consciousness, local over-achieiving vegan Wee Mahr admitted that his addiction to fresh carrots had “gotten a little out of hand” earlier today.
Mahr first noticed that something was wrong early this morning after his right foot took on a “distinctly carrotty look.”
Due to his intemperance, Mahr has been strongly advised to join Adventists Anonymous, a support group for Adventists struggling with denomination-specific addictions.
Common disorders include addiction to Little Debbie Creme Pies, salty veggie meats and most commonly, Postum.