WORLDWIDE — This Sabbath, Seventh-day Adventists around the world reminded each other that while it was natural to hope their pastors would end their sermons soon, it was a very bad idea to try to get more specific on timing.
“If anyone should know the fruitlessness of overly-specific predictions, it’s us,” said Adventist Analyst Jorge Dia. He advised Adventists to refrain from promising their children that the sermon would be over “in five minutes.”
Dia told Adventists that sneaking peeks at your phone to see the time doesn’t speed up the sermon.
“This world can feel like an awful place when your pastor drones on and on, and sometimes you may surrender to feelings of despair,” said Dia.
He reminded fellow Adventists that there was always a force stronger than a pastor’s will to keep talking: potluck.
Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists who want to change that status wanted.
Just as nobody can tell how long the endless wait for the Second Coming will last . . . probably until all the preachers on earth run out of sermons.
Goes to show ya. We are a bunch of 12 o’clock Christians. Those preachers gotta get with the program. We are a busy bunch of people.
My attention span is very short. What did he sat anyway? Was Jesus’ sermons long? Did Sister White preach long sermons? My quizzical mind needs to know. Woe iz me!!! Just gimme a few Little Debbies to help mealong.
HOW LONG ARE THE SERMONS? TOO LONG.
CAN YOU FIND THE ODD THING IN THE PHOTO?
The clock is a few minutes before midnight when the bridegropm comets. This guy ain’t ready. Woe iz him &other rest of his ilk!